Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Poof!

How does it feel when you realize that the foundation on which you were constructing a building was never there in the first place…

It’s a different feeling from a rug being pulled out from under your feet…

Nothing crumbles and falls in a puff of smoke… The building just vanishes into thin air... Poof!

Yeah, that’s what happened to me last evening… The building I was working so hard to complete since the past 5 – 6 months simply vanished. It’s left behind no emotion… Not even a memory. It’s left me comfortably numb!

Love

G.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Beyond all islands [Island Part III]

This is the final post of a three part series, the first being 'Please take me to my island' and the second 'I didn't listen and now I drown'. Read on....


Soon I could hear no sound
I couldn’t hear my screams
I felt so helpless I couldn’t breathe
No more could I feel my heart beat

‘Your struggle is over’, said my soul
‘Don’t be worried anymore
‘It was I who was dragging you down
‘Its time now for me to go…’


Alarmed I looked at my reflection,
‘How can you go if you are my soul?
‘You are all I believe in
‘Without you I have no hope’

‘Hope is what’s killing you my dearest
‘And you have to let it go
‘But as you and I are one, I know
‘You’ll rather die than let it go’

‘Don’t do this to me my soul
‘How do I choose between you and hope?
‘You have no choice my dearest
‘It’s time now for me to go’

‘You have to learn to let go of hope
‘You have to learn to live
‘Move through the journey called life
‘If you can’t feel there will be no pain’

That was the day hope left me
The day I lost my soul
‘Where are you going?’, I asked my reflection
‘Beyond all islands into the unknown’

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

.....I didnt listen and now I drown [Island Part II]


But one day I decided to take the plunge
Towards the island I began my swim
'Please turn back and return', said he
'Or atleast stop and listen to me'

'Dont ask me to turn back', I had to scream
The din of the waves was deafening
'Towards my island I will continue swimming
I cant believe it was just a dream'

'The island is full of thorns', he said...
'The sea is here to protect you
'Never will you reach the island
'And if you reach, it will only hurt you!'

But his words never reached me
I didnt realise how far I'd gone
In the middle of the ocean I turned back
And all around I could only see the sea!

'Save me someone, I have lost my way
'My island eludes me and I've lost my home
'I am trying hard to stay afloat
'But it's been so long, I'm about to drown!'

Love

G.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Signs

A friend just sent me this... I spent so much time staring at it that I decided to put it up here:

Life gives Answers in Three ways,
It says YES and gives Whatever u Want,
It says NO and gives u Something Better
It says Wait and gives u the Best

"Don't just Dream. Live your Dream."

Should I take it as a sign?

Perhaps not. It's better not to dream.

Love

G.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Please take me to my Island..... [Island Part I]


In my dreams I wandered once
In the bliss of an heavenly island
Oh how green were the beautiful trees
I'd never felt more at ease

I lay down on a tree trunk
And closed my eyes and slept
Believing this was my destiny
And I'd never have to turn back & return

Then all of a sudden I got a jolt
I was woken from my slumber
I looked all around for my island
But more I looked the less I could see

It took me some time to realise
That the island's far away...
That I can never reach it
Cuz its in the middle of the Sea!

Love

G.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Addendum to "So Help me God"

Unconditional Love:

All of us know and claim that God loves us unconditionally. But have any of us tried to love God unconditionally? How many of us have expressed anger at God for not fulfilling our wishes, or for not protecting our loved ones from harm?

Have you ever realised the benefits of loving God? Loving God makes us more tolerant. It teaches us patience. It brings in us the spirit to serve. It gives us hope. Overall it has a very peaceful effect on our beings.

So lets not try and evaluate what we gain by loving God....

Lets just love him..... Unconditionally!

Love

G.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

So Help Me God....

Frankly, I do not intend to make this a religious or a spiritual blog..... It's just that somehow on two consequtive days I have had the urge to write about certain feelings that explain my approach towards God. Hence 'Heaven & Hell' and todays post!
This is going to be short though and is meant as much for myself as for all you readers:

"Do not pray to God for the best, pray to him for strength to help you bear the worst"
God is not here to fulfill our material needs. He has given us 'free will', a 'mind', and a 'body' to fulfill them. Through free will we have the right to choose what we want, through a mind we are able to identify our needs and find out a way to fulfill them, through a body we are able to perform all activities required to obtain what is required to meet our needs.
Ask God for strength to stand up when you fall, ask him for the will to look around for alternatives when we do not get what we want.
Love God. That is the only way to be happy. Always look at the bright side of things. Never get discouraged. Believe that there is a door waiting to be opened. Believe that there is always a way out. Believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
So Help me God !
Love
G.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Heaven & Hell !

Do you believe in Heaven & Hell?

Most of our religions revolve under the concept of heaven and hell. A person who does not lead a good life on earth is punished by being sent to hell in his after life. (Well there are also concepts of a person being reborn, which are outside the purview of this post!)

A Roman Catholic believes (or is expected to believe) that there is a heaven where God and his angels reside. Jesus Christ, the son of God and a few other saints are also in heaven. Heaven is a place where people who have abstained from sin, or who have repented and have been forgiven of all their sins are admitted in their 'after life'. Similarly, hell, which is usually visualised as a burning place, filled with boiling lava, is a place where people who have led sinful lives are sent once they die.

Hell, was created when Lucifer, one of the angels of God, had a fall out with him and was banished from heaven. That is when he swore to spread evil in the world and convert the entire human race against God.

Then there is also a concept of Purgatory, which is a place where souls are sent after the death of their physical bodies, and pending their judgement. It is believed that on Judgement Day, that is also considered the end of the world, God the Father will judge all souls and will accordingly welcome them into heaven or banish them in Hell!

Frankly, though all of these things sound charming to me, I used to find it very difficult to believe them! I could never imagine my soul moving out of my body and then being judged someday, after an infinite amount of time has passed, into whether the life led by me on earth, was good or bad!

One day while I was idling away, pondering over the concepts of resurrection, forgiveness, soul etc. that I had this thought.

The fact that the Soul is nothing more than the memory of himself that a human body leaves behind in the minds of the others around him. I really seemed to identify with this concept and I think it has made it a little easier for me to 'do good'. All of us want to be loved. When on earth we want to be appreciated by our near and dear ones. We like being popular among our friends and like creating a good 'impression' on peoples minds. Some even more ambitious people want to be famous! I am sure very few people think about it, but all of us want to be thought of 'fondly' when we are no longer alive.

This is heaven. What more do we want! Science has proved that we are biological creatures and that our mind and body decay after we are burried in the earth. Leaving behind a good memory is all what heaven is about to me. The concept of forgiveness too, makes more sense to me this way. Rather than the age old custom that we follow in the Christian Church of asking God for forgiveness, or confessing our sins to a third party priest who intervenes on your behalf to God, a sure shot way to be in this heaven, is to ask forgiveness of the person you have wronged. The words of my beloved Jesus Christ make more sense to me now. During his tenor on earth, Jesus never sat behind a confession box forgiving people, but he said "Love thy enemy". He advocated peace. He said whatsoever you do, to the least of your brothers, that you do unto me. I dont mean to say dont ask God for forgiveness. But I mean to say that no forgiveness is complete untill the person you have wronged has forgiven you.

It is like confessing to your mother that you scribbled in your elder sisters note book! Our dear mother will reprimand us and send us to apologise to our sister and ask for forgiveness.

Similarly, our memory will burn in hell, if we have lived our lives through hatred and injustice! Can you imagine the pain our dearest ones will go through when they hear that no one can sympathise with you once you're gone?

Dear Readers, I do not mean to defy the basic concepts of religion. What I want to convey through this post is, that loving others and doing good to people around us, is the only way to ensure a 'ticket' to heaven. No amount of praying and praying alone can do the trick.

Love

G.

Friday, April 28, 2006

On Love & Life...

I dont know why I decided to write this post... Actually I guess for no specific reason. All of a sudden this title flashed in my mind.

How often have I seen this phrase? Guess almost everyday... Every now and then we find some journo or the other asking a celebrity what is his or her 'take' on love & life...

On love and life.... So far this phrase has never made a difference to me.. but now as I am thinking while writing this blog, it seems to be a very tough question. What would be my take on love and life?

I think I will try attempting 'life' first. Oxford dictionary defines life as 'The capacity for activity, growth, and change in animals and plants that ends at death'; 'A person's or people's activities, fortunes, or manner of existence'. Life, thus seems to be, a journey between being born and dying. Life in itself is pure existence, that we as human beings exist and have the capacity to grow and change, that we have the capacity to 'make use' of this life.

So I presume that If I am asked for my take on life, then I am being asked what have I done with this life so far, what am I planning to do with the rest of the life that is remaining with me!

I wish I knew the answer. I have lived my life my default. The first few years of my journey were a result of the choices made by my parents. Slowly I started making my own choices. I now believe that I am mentally independent, that I am truly capable of making the right choices that will benefit me and those close to me. I recently made such a choice when I was offered a job that I have wanted for some time now. This choice was one of the 'more important' choices I have made as it will probably call for a major change in my present lifestyle. But now I think have I planned my journey from this point to the end of this journey? Or have I planned my journey only till the next bend on the road. Do all the things that I have wanted to do fit it? Is it possible to plan my time to the point that I dont have any left?
I think I have neglected my life. I have been more involved in trying to conquer the next bend ahead of my fellow living beings, rather than concentrating on my own horizon. Where is my horizon? What is it that I want to do with my life? I need to sit down and think about my life..... and the life of those I love.
In the romantic comedy As Good As It Gets, Melvin Udall, an author, is giving the finishing touches to his latest book. Here it goes: 'Finally she was able to define love. "Love was...Love was..."' He is left pondering on what should he write as the definition of love when he is interupted. The movie then goes on, & the line is left incomplete. I wonder, if Melvin Udall would actually be able to complete it though.
But love according to me is so abstract a feeling that it cannot be defined.... only felt. It also is the fuel that helps me complete this journey of life. Can any of us imagine life without love? Look around you...... the world is full of people and objects we love... I for instance love my family... I also love my friends. I love the cool chill of the morning..... and the cloud formations at sunset. I love the way the moon shines in the jet black sky at night. I love the flowers that are on display at the florist... I love my coffee. I love my car..The list goes on. Can I imagine having the desire to wake up each morning and carry on my living duties if I didnt love anything? Love is what drives us to take the effort. To just put all the pains and troubles behind us and to move on..... There is another kind of love. What some cynics would terms as companionship. Sometimes I think we spend too much of our life looking for this love. We want someone to walk with us on the rest of our journey. We want someone who will lift us when we stumble and fall. We want someone to share the fragrance of the flowers on the pathway. And we want someone who will love us in return.... Who will expect the same from us. Sometimes I think that I can go on looking for my love forever... Then I am afraid that one day my journey will be over.... That I will never have found my love. That my entire life has been spent in search of my love....
The truth is... I dont think I can 'plan' my journey till the end of time till I have found my love. As far as my life goes..... I want to share this gift... I want to share it with my love.. Till then. I think I will continue living my life in default...... In search of my fuel.. My love.
Love
G.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Compassionomics

I'm sad today. Actually very very sad. And I'm confused cause I dont know where to go !! Hold on, I'll explain exactly what I'm going through soon, but before that let me narrate the first time I 'felt' socially responsible.

I was a kid myself, travelling with my father on one of his official tours. My father was driving his car through a remote village in Madhya Pradesh. We stopped at a local joint for a cup of tea... The joint was too shabby for me to get out of the car & I remained inside... While I was in my car a dirty little girl, probably all of five years, (Sadly, that is how the poor & homeless children in India are) started knocking on my car window to sell me some peanuts. I looked away pretty disgusted with the persistent brat (I am ashamed for being such a snob). That is when the joint owner, annoyed with the girl for troubling his customers, decides to take some action. He holds the girl's shoulder & drags her away. Then he spanks her buttocks a couple of times & ruthlessly throws her on the ground. Wailing she gets up and walks away while rubbing her back where he hit her. Tears welled up in my eyes. I felt ashamed for being so proud of myself. I felt guilty cause I was responsible for that girl being hit. Had I had a little bit of compassion I could probably have obliged the girl & bought some peanuts. It would've cost me nothing but it could have saved that baby some precious tears. This incident affected me deeply. My heart wanted to adopt the girl & take her with us immediately... But I knew it was not me but my parents who would have to take her responsibility. So I resolved to build a home for destitute children whenever I grow up...

Time passed... Years went by. I'm not a kid anymore. I finished schooling, college, professional education & am now working for the past two years. I do think of the little girl time & again. But never enough to do something about it. I always had other priorities.... Then I got a fantastic excuse... I will earn some money, be able to afford it and then I will build a home for them... The thought made me feel good...

Sometime back I decided to leave India. I had great plans to join my aunts & cousins in beautiful Australia. I was thrilled with the idea. My parents agreed & started making arrangements. I told my closest friends about my plans. My dream about building a home for these kids was conviniently forgotten. It just didnt fit into my scheme of things. And of course I haven't been able to earn enough money yet to afford it. But last night I couldn't sleep. I saw a wonderful movie - Rang De Basanti. It was about this bunch of collegians who wanted to enjoy life. They are however aware of the state of affairs in our country, the corruption, the poverty, the lack of basic amenities. They criticise the nation for it & have a simple solution - leave the country cause they cant expect anything out of it (I used to think pretty much on the same lines). One of their friends is an air force pilot who dies in an air sortie cause his jet plane was fixed with old & defective parts. There is a political furore over his death & it is announced that he was a rash pilot who caused his own death. This is a rude shock to this bunch of youngsters who decide to avenge their friend and awaken the nation to fight corruption. All of them fight for justice and are brutally murdered by the system - but not before they stir the sea of humanity in the nation - including my soul.

All of a sudden I remembered those days when I wanted to do something for my beloved country, when I wanted to join the police force to prevent crime, when I wanted to be an air force pilot to protect our homeland, when I wanted to give homeless children a better living, when I wanted to form a political organisation to fight corruption. I am filled with remorse that I plan to leave my country with all these unfinished dreams. I am consumed with guilt when my practical mind tells me that I dont have the funds to do anything. I have decided I need to do something. I know I need to make a difference. I love my country. I need to make her a better place to live.

But I am not able to find the courage to stay. My heart says I cannot leave. My mind says I can always come back. I want to stay... But my dear readers...... if my determination fails me, if my soul proves weak, if I harden my heart and close my eyes, if I refuse to stay back... please hate me for it!
Love

G.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Explain Economics.........

Hey...... Can someone explain to me how an economy works.... I've tried but everytime someone gives me one logical explanation my mind seems to delve deeper into confusion....

Take for example the current hot topic - Rising Interest Rates in the Indian Economy.....

We say our economy is growing at a rate of 8% p.a. We all claim that it is great news and soon we will be the second largest economy in the world (Second perhaps only to China). Then why does this have our Central Bank worried? The Central Bank claims that there is too much liquidity in the market and goes on increasing interest rates to 'suck out' liquidity.... I'm confused as to how this helps...

Ok, lets try and address from where does liquidity come from.... Is it through Foreign Investors? We all know that the stock markets booming. Hey our Sensex crossed 10000 for the first time ever! Much of it is being blamed on FII inflows... That is good news too cause now we say that the Indian markets are coming of age...

It is perhaps also through direct investments being made in India (Not necessarily through stock markets).... Companies setting up facilities in India...

It could also come from the Central Bank by a lowering of interest rates....

But how do we define 'excess' liquidity... Hey that's a question I have absolutely no clue about......

Anyways... I'll just try and figure out what does liquidity do to an economy

More liquidity means more money in the hands of people.... In the hands of the industrialist to expand..... In the hands of the consumer to spend..... Thus more liquidity means more demand...

The Finance minister argues that more liquidity will cause inflation... His claim is that if there is more money in the hands of people then they are willing to spend more on available products... Seeing this spurt in demand manufacturers are more willing to raise prices and thus will lead to a rise in inflation... So the finance minister decides that liquidity is not good and he raises the interest rate making money more expensive..... Thus borrowers do not borrow and bankers start parking excess money with the Reserve Bank.....

But my views go thus...... I am a manufacturer. I have a business plan under which I am about to invest X Million in a plant. My project will go green in 3 years..... Most of the funds required for investing will come from my friendly banker.... But suddenly the finance minister goes ahead and hikes the interest rate by a huge 2%.... Now I go green in 3 1/2 years... So I am faced with three choices a) Abandon my Project totally b) Tweak my business plan a bit by raising revenues so I go green in 3 years as originally planned or c) Be a bit more patient and wait for 3 1/2 years! What am I more likely to do - Definitely not a). For the simple reason that I believe that the Indian market is to grow in this way in the near future.... I do not foresee any declining trend in the economy... So if I need to invest, I might as well do it now rather than wait till the Indian growth story is over. I however believe that high interest rates are here to stay..... So I might as well take advantage of this phenomenon and increase my selling price marginally so that I still go green as planned.. There is a rise in inflation caused by my increase in prices and I believe this is the strategy most of my fellow manufacturers will follow...

So where our Hon'ble Finance Minister is trying to contain inflation... what he ends up doing is a rather round - a - bout way of increasing inflation!

But I agree with one thing.... Inflation needs to be contained... Raising interest rates is not the solution (though it may work temporarily).... Going back to why inflation may be caused. Because people are willing to spend more on existing products? So I guess this is where the Goverment needs to do some thinking. Either, encourage a wider range of alternatives for individuals to spend. Or, ensure that the 'excess' money reaches more 'hands'. In a country where a vast majority is still below poverty line I think that is a better focus.... (I'm sorry, I dont really know how to achieve this for now... Maybe my next paper will give more ideas on how to ensure excess liquidity reaches right hands!)

Another alternative could possibly be the Government trying to ensure that 'excess' money comes in only those areas where such money is required... Say infrastructure...... In a developing economy like India where most of the states are reeling under deficit budgets... I am sure excess liquidity could do more help than harm!

Well... these are my views after all.... Unfortunately they are not supported by enough data.. (I am no statistician or research analyst).. So I can't prove that my theories are right... but from my limited viewpoint I can't understand how rising interest rates can help the economy!

Love
G.