Happiness with incurable sadness

I knew someday I would write about this. About how much my heart aches for the place I call home. For my friends who grow distant by the day... and for my family. Oh how I wish I was sitting on the couch watching silly television flanked by my mum and dad. How I wish I was fighting with my brother right now. Or looking after my father in law..

But here we are, my husband and I, having the best days of our lives. Albeit as outsiders.

How can I be so happy and yet so sad? Why does being a stranger bother me in a place that gives me almost everything I want? Have I made the wrong choice? Should I have chosen my family and friends over a comfortable and mildly extravagant life (A life I can't have back home)? Have I really chosen one over the other? And if so, have I behaved selfishly?

All these questions haunt me. Not all the time. But at times like today. But then I think I can make this my home someday. I will always love my family and they will always love me.. wherever I am. And my friends... well they will always grow distant and busy with their lives... but they will always be my friends....

And I will always feel a tinge of sadness...

Love

G.