Why does my heart ache everytime I see MJ on the screen? Why do the tears come rushing?
I was never his biggest fan. I never knew the lyrics to his songs. I never tried the moonwalk. And I never defended him when everyone called him Wacko.
But deep down, I think I always loved MJ. I just didn't realise it till he was gone. And then I felt shock. And I felt anger. All of a sudden I couldn't bear to hear the term Wacko Jacko. I hated it when they played a show focussing on him as a crazy paedophile. I kept thinking who are we to judge another human being. And how can we accuse someone who can't defend himself anymore?
I started to read about MJ. I read everything I could find with his name on it. Saw all the tributes, saw his interviews and saw This Is It.
I may be so wrong but I am convinced of his innocence. When you hear him speak he sounds like a child. Those tears that Brooke shed on the screen were genuine tears shed for someone she believed in and loved. My heart broke when his little girl said "Ever since I was born, daddy has been the best father you can ever imagine." He had to be a good person! He compared himself to Peter Pan - the boy who never grew up. And spent a fortune on a play ground. His songs spoke about humanity and love. He gave generously. He loved children. He thought he was one of them. He doesn't deny sleeping with children in his bed. But he deny's touching them sexually. I believe MJ when he says that. Anyways I am not writing this to defend him. I am just trying to understand why so many of us believed he was in the wrong.
So what if he did a million plastic surgeries. Why should it concern us? If anything I feel pity for the man. I wish he had someone who could hold him tight and look him in the eye and tell him that he looks beautiful. Someone who would tell him that he was loved the way he his. That he should stay the same. That he shouldn't change. He was so lonely. Can you imagine being so full of love and having noone to share that love with?
He was a talented, hard working, genius who gave so much to the world. Surely there is more good to him than bad. Then why do so many of us love to hate him? Why do we find it easier to find faults than to see good? Wouldn't it make the world a better place if we saw the goodness in people more clearly than their faults? I think it would. And that is what I am going to try to do.
Love
G.
